Why adoption?

As we have been going through this journey of adoption, I am frequently asked the question "What made you decide adoption?" This question is one I have answered many times on many applications, during home study interviews, to almost complete strangers who are simply curious. Typically my answer is something along the lines of "I believe this is the way God has called us to grow our family. The bible says to care for the orphans and widows. This is how we are caring for the orphans. I have seen the effects of children not having a stable and loving home and desire to provide that for someone." Now, that is the extreme Reader's Digest version of what I usually say, but that's the jist. The reality is something longer than the few lines provided so I decided to start telling my story here and hopefully provide a little insight into what brought me to this point. Keep in mind, this is my journey to adoption. Andy's is different and at some point I will have him share his background.

I think to start out I have to go back to when I was 8 years old and made the decision to accept Jesus Christ into my heart and follow Him and His plans for me. I was raised in a Christian home with amazing parents, but the decision to follow Christ was still mine to make. So when I was 8 I made that choice. At that point I believe God began preparing me for the path I am on today. He instilled in me a heart for people and desire to provide love and care to children. As long as I can remember I have always been drawn to children. The nurturing part of me came to life very early and being the oldest child in my family (including cousins) gave me a lot of opportunities to "practice" mommy skills. The first time I remember considering adoption was when I was 10 years old. I was sitting at my kitchen table, in 5th grade, and thought to myself (possibly even said out loud) "I want to adopt a baby from China someday." Now, in my 10 year old mind that is as far as I got. It was simple. There are babies no one wants and they deserve a chance to be loved. I believe God put the desire and fight in my heart for children who were now born to me biologically on that day. (I have since developed that simply thought into much much more, but I will share that when I discuss the way my heart has changed over the past 3 years.) As I grew up I was blessed with opportunities to go on missions trips to Mexico and Asia where I helped run VBS's for children, passed out food to kids, played soccer with elementary students, and baby sat while others shared Truth with their parents. Then it came time for me to go to college. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt I wanted to work with children so I pursued and achieved my degree in Early Childhood Education. In my classes I learned of children who were abused by their parents and removed from their home, I learned about child advocacy, I studied the importance of attachment and bonding, I learned the long term effects of children who are not able to attach and bond with an adult, I discovered that adoption was still very real and very alive in my heart. At this point I was still thinking international. China, specifically, but the wait for China was getting longer and longer and God used that fact to open my heart to other countries. During my senior year of college I met Andy. A few months before we got married we talked about the possibility of adoption. While in my mind I always pictured that happening internationally, Andy had always pictured a domestic adoption. This was the first I had considered it, but since adoption was already on my heart I really didn't think twice about it. We would simply adopt domestically AND internationally. Makes sense, right?! :) My first job out of college was in a Title One School. Not just a Title One School, but a Title One district. For those of you who do not know what that is it means "low income" or "poverty" areas (short explanation). Many of my students lived in foster care or with extended family members or jumped from place to place daily. My heart broke for these kids especially. These kiddos craved love, attention and affection from me that they should have received from their parents. There are faces and names of students who will be etched in my heart and mind forever. If I could have, I would have brought them all home. But that is not reality. It was during this time that adopting domestically went from something I'll do because it's on my husband's heart to this is something we HAVE to do. We have to adopt domestically. We have to adopt now. God took me from "someday" to "NOW." This is reality. Except most agencies require you to be married at least 2 years and be at least 25 years old. So we found an agency we loved with a lower age requirement (I was 24 when we began this process) The timeline then went/goes like this:

October 2010-2 months before our 2 year anniversary we met with our agency, went through adoption counseling.

December 2010- decided to make the jump. I dove head first into paperwork, scheduling doctors appointments, scheduling fingerprint appointments, registering with Family Care and Safety Registry, etc.

January 2011- we were approved and on the wait list! Then we got pregnant...haha! Funny timing on God's part :)

August 2011- we took our names  off the wait list

October 2011- Josiah was born

December 2011- we get a call from our agency about a potential situation with a birth mother for a baby that was already born. Would we like to be considered? Sure! So we were back in the game! :)

January 2013-Sign a contract with a 2nd agency

October 2013---MATCHED!!! (Through agency 1)

March 2014- Our son is due!!!!! Woohoo!!

September 2014--Go back on wait list with our 2nd agency (We have 1 year and 3 months left with agency 2 starting at this time. They believe we will be chosen by a birth mother during that time. Therefore, we should have our 2nd child by December 2015)

2nd Domestic Adoption Complete--Begin paperwork for International adoption from Haiti

The past 3 years have been a major learning experience for me as well, but that is a blog for another day. You can expect to read about my journey from wanting a closed adoption to praying fervently for an open one and my misconceptions about birth mothers to my intense desire to advocate for them.


Side note:

THIS Friday, November 22 at Nathan P. Murphy's an awesome group of guys are getting their incredible band back together to do a reunion show at 8:30. The cover is $2 for minors and name your price for everyone else. All proceeds from this event go toward the adoption fund of ourselves and our good friends the Lotz' who have adopted domestically and are now waiting to bring their little girl home from Congo in Africa.(check out her blog http://www.honeybunchesoflotz.com/. Their story is heartbreaking and joyous at the same time. You will be inspired) This is just one small way YOU can be a part of adoption, plus hear some awesome music. :) Think about it.