Mother's Day

I find that each year on this day I become more and more reflective and emotional. The Lord has blessed me with such amazing women to honor as mothers and I am unbelievably grateful for that blessing. So bear with me as I share my thoughts with you about these fantastic women.

For 3 years now I have also had the privilege of being a mother myself, and the weight of that is not lost on me. My children are such a source of joy every single day. Tiring? Yes. Trying? Yes. Frustrating? Yes. But oh the fun we have! The giggles. The hugs. The playfulness. The love. The innocence. The hope. The JOY! My heart could burst as I think of those sweet boys sleeping (or rather, playing at this moment) upstairs. I have the absolute best job in the entire world and wouldn't change it for anything! This day also causes me to evaluate how I am doing with this job. Am I training them to be kind, loving, compassionate boys who know how much Jesus loves them? Am I raising them to be men of God who will impact the world in an amazing way? I cannot forget the end goal. The day to day can get redundant, but it's the small moments in the day in and out that add up to creating men who will use their lives for The Lord.

I also have those moments thinking on my relationship with my own mother and how I hope to nurture that same relationship with my own children. Her wisdom, patience, kindness, attentiveness, compassion and love overflows and I pray I can emulate those qualities. I had the privilege of living in the same town as her for several years before moving away and could drive across town for a quick lunch hour and catch up or run errands on a random Saturday. I took for granted that proximity and have often felt an overwhelming sense of sadness over the past few months since moving away that I am unable to just make a quick drive across town for some face to face time with this amazing woman. Words cannot express how thankful I am that she and my dad were able to be with us for Mother's Day this year. Though the trip was short, there is nothing like a mom's hug and encouragement.

There is an amazing woman who lives just 3 minutes from my driveway. My mother-in-love is the best! Her giving, selfless spirit and genuine desire to know me, my heart and my family is overwhelming. I often hear people complain about their mom-in-law and am so very grateful for our relationship.  Her unconditional love and willingness to always help out in whatever way she can is rare and refreshing and does not go unnoticed. In this transition to KC, she has gone out of her way to make me feel at home and ease the difficulties of transitioning into a "new" city. I am one blessed daughter-in-law.

I am also blessed to have a wonderful relationship with my grandmother, who I can call any time for any reason and she will stop and talk with me. I cherish the times we have together, though not as often any more. Living in town, I frequently stopped by their home to walk their neighborhood or for lunch and ended up talking for hours sometimes. She is one of the most selfless people I know, bending over backwards to help anyone in our family. She spends countless hours choosing the perfect card or the perfect gift to give. Her thoughtfulness, love and desire to provide for our family is astounding and worth aspiring to. I only hope that I can show that same love to the generations to come from my own little family.

Lastly, my thoughts drift often on this day to Timothy's birth mother. Her choosing adoption for him was difficult and heartbreaking. The pain she felt in placing him in my arms before leaving the hospital was very real. She cared for him for 9 months as he grew, felt his kicks and saw his first pictures on the ultrasound. I am forever grateful to her for loving him enough to place him with us.

I guess if I'm being honest, she isn't my last thought. There is another woman who has crossed my mind many times this weekend. She is birth mother of our future child (ren). Where is she? What must she be going through right now? Is she afraid? Does she have support? Does she know she is loved?

I am thankful for each of these women and the enormous impact they have on my life. So, Happy Mother's Day!

THE list

Deep breath. Release. Repeat. Here we go again!

We are officially back on "The List!" As of today our website is back up and we can be found by birthmother's (and father's) through Lifetime.com. Wooo! Our profile is under review and as soon as we get the word I will print 50...yes 50 of these works of art to send to our coordinator. They will then pass our profile along to birth families whose criteria we meet and vice verse. I've had a few people ask what a profile is exactly so I thought I'd explain that a little bit.

A profile is essentially a scrap book of our family. It includes pages about Andy and I individually, our home, our family, things we enjoy, a letter to potential birth mothers, lots and lots of pictures. The goal is to give birth mothers a glimpse into our lives and what life would be like for her child.

So as we move forward we will not know when we are being presented to birth families, we just have to be available for THAT moment when a birth mom wants to talk to us.

I learned a very valuable lesson with Timothy's adoption. Pray specifically. Oh my, how The Lord came through with those VERY specific requests. Things prayed, but didn't even really expect to see and yet, HE provided. So I am trusting, once again, that HIS timing and details are perfect while also praying for the desires I have currently.

1) A healthy baby and mom.

2) A match near KC. Whether that's through a friend or via our profile/website. OR a match near family or close friends where we could potentially stay with someone we know for all or part of our time waiting for ICPC to come through.

3) A girl. I would love to balance out this house a little bit! BUT if The Lord blesses us with a 3rd baby boy I will be thrilled!

4) A match before the end of 2015. This might seem ambitious, but this process is stressful. The end is the best because we get to snuggle a little one and bring a sibling to our boys and THAT is the part I am already SO ready for!

5) Birth father involvement or consent.