The twins will be 6 months old on April 3.
That weekend was such a whirlwind. We traveled to Branson for the wedding of sweet friends. Andy performed the ceremony, the boys were ring bearers. On April 2nd Timothy fell while playing outside and cut open his chin, leaving a nice scar and band aid accessory for the wedding. The morning of the 3rd Josiah ran into a tree branch overhanging a walking trail and had a nice swollen/bruised/slightly bloody eye to go with his adorable suspenders and bow tie. My momma heart was breaking for my boys' hurts and I was mentally preparing to leave them for 24 hours to go meet my other babies' birth mother. I had not heard from her for a couple of days and was worried, but remained hopeful that once we got to Atlanta I would meet her face to face and ease her mind about her decision to place those precious babies with our family. The emotions of that weekend flood my heart every time I go back there.
So this Sunday the babies I thought would be ours will turn 6 months old. I have never seen their sweet faces. Never held their little hands or felt their fingers wrap around mine. They are somewhere else, with someone else. I pray they are loved. I pray they are taken care of, snuggled, rocked to sleep, and feel safe. I pray someday they learn of the hope of Jesus. Sometimes it feels like they were born ages ago and other times it feels like it was just yesterday. Sometimes I dream about them. Sometimes I even hope for a moment that my phone will ring and I'll be asked to get on a plane and go get them. I miss them in moments that hit me out of the blue. Running errands, going to the gym, getting ready for church. The little moments of day to day life that I had allowed myself to picture with 4 little ones in tow.
Many have asked about progress regarding our next adoption. At this point we are still waiting for a birth mother to choose us. I look at Timothy and I know it's worth it. The wait is worth it. The weight of the waiting is worth it. There is hope in knowing that we are following the path we feel God has led us on. In my moments of sadness and grief I am also reminded of the goodness of my Lord. The hope we have in Him.
The Lord is using this time for a purpose and I cling to verses that speak of waiting. There is hope...
Psalm 40:1
I waited patiently for the Lord, and He turned to me, and heard my cry.
Isaiah 40: 31
But those who wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings as eagles, they shall run and not be weary, and they shall walk and not faint.
Psalm 37: 4-5
Delight thyself also in the Lord and he shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit thy way to the Lord, trust also in Him; and He shall bring it to pass.
I am thankful for this journey and while I am most definitely ready for it to be over; have our next little one home and snuggled up on my chest, I know there is purpose in each moment and it is not wasted. There are two precious lives that we can pray for. Two little ones who are loved from afar. A mother, who chose to parent her children, that we can pray for as she moves forward with life.
We covet your prayers for the twins and their mom. We covet your prayers for us as we continue to wait and see how God writes this story.
