Yesterday we sang a song at church that has become one of my very favorites. It contains lyrics from one of my favorite hymns, has a powerful melody, and is a beautiful anthem for declaring God's goodness no matter what.
As we sang though, I found myself having a really difficult time singing these words:
"Through it all, it is well. It is well with my soul."
Instead of it being a declaration these words became more of a plea. I want it to be well. My desire is for that kind of faith. Faith that moves mountains. Faith that can declare with complete honesty "It is well with my soul!"
Some days I can sing this song with complete certainty. For that I am grateful. Other days, I have to lay down my pain before the Lord and allow Him to heal me. And for that I am also grateful. Because I have a God that allows me to come before Him in my brokenness. I have a God that knows each tear that falls and HEARS me. What a wonderful thing to experience!
And then, as if God knew I just needed a little more comfort and hope poured into my life, he allowed me to see, this morning, the story of a family who declared the verse: "Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours." I have not claimed this verse as I should, and have often doubted if God will "come through" for us in this adoption. I have been convicted of this doubt and will take that thought captive moving forward. It is natural, I think, for us to wonder, doubt, become frustrated, fear and worry. It is not something to beat myself up over. It is something for me to recognize, confess and lay before the Lord. He tells me to "Cast all my care upon Him because He cares for me"--so I will lay my burdens at His feet and rest in Him. Knowing that He loves, cares and desires the absolute best for me. It may not look like I think it will, and that's ok.
