He's here!!!

Whew! It's been a whirlwind few days but I am finally at a point where I can fill you all in!

First off, thank you for all of your prayers for Timothy, us and his birth parents! God has been so good to us, from safe travels, to Timothy being super healthy (despite being tiny), to smooth transitions so far, to a wonderfully supportive hospital staff and fantastic family members providing us with a hotel room. We are more grateful than words can say.

I will take you through these first few days with as much detail as I can, but please know that there are many things I cannot write for legal reasons as well as out of respect for Timothy's birth family.

Monday, February 17:

Learn that Timothy is measuring a bit small (just under 5lbs) and that induction about a week early was likely.

Tuesday, February 18:

37 weeks!

Wednesday, February 19:

Do taxes. This might seem silly, but it was the earliest appointment we could get after getting everything we needed. I really wanted these done before we had to travel because I expected a return. (We got one!)

Thursday, February 20:


I got the oil changed in my car.....just in case.

Friday, February 21:

Andy's parents came to visit us for a day. It has been a few weeks since we had seen them and wanted one more visit before things got too crazy. While Josiah was napping Linda and I went shopping. I picked up an adorable wedding outfit for Timithy (just in case!) and one premie outfit. I also got a gift for our birth parents. I found it the week before but wanted to make sure it was an ok gift before I got it. We got home and I decided to rest for about 5 minutes, then jump in the shower for an early
dinner. My head had barely hit the pillow when my phone rang. I assumed it was Andy telling me he had gotten off work early. I was wrong. Our social worker's name showed on the screen and I got a little nervous. I heard the words "Well....M is in the hospital. You better pack up and head to Kentucky."  I ran into the living room and told Andy's parents. Then called Andy.


Andy: Hey, can I call you back in 5 min.
Me: Ummm, not really, no. M is in labor. You need to come home. It's go time!

Then I'm pretty sure I went up and down my hallway 12 times trying to decide where to start. I had my lists made, but my brain momentarily turned to mush. While calling my mom and grandma I started packing. Somewhere in there Josiah woke up, pretty confused. 1 1/2 hours later we were on our way. It was perfect because Josiah got to stay at home with Andy's parents until my parents got off work to come get him. And, as predicted, I pulled out in tears.

Once we got to the hospital (at about 1:30AM) we visited with our birth patents for a few minutes, then the hospital got us set up in our own room and we continued to wait. We also got to sleep a couple of hours. When we woke up we went to check in with everyone and discovered we were still
waiting. I also learned that I was welcome in the delivery room when the time came! They had not slept well so Andy and I went to get breakfast in the cafeteria. The moment we finished eating my phone rang. It was birth dad calling saying it was push time!

I got to be in the room through the entire process and at 10:10 a screaming baby boy came into this world! There was concern before he came out that he may be too small and need to go to the NICU. I had asked you all to pray he gain some weight and we had been specifically praying he was over 5lbs. He weighed in at a whopping 5lbs 10.8oz and healthy!

We spent the rest of Saturday in the room with birth parents, with a small nap time for all where we took Timothy with us. Sunday was much the same, going back and forth between rooms. But at night it was just the three of us (and the nurses).


On Monday Timothy's birth parents went home. I wish I could accurately put into words what this experience was like. Heart wrenching. To watch them say good byes was so hard and it was easy to see how much they love him. This will be a tough transition for them.

Tuesday we got to leave the hospital!! There was not hot water in our room and I had not been outside for 2 days so it was wonderful to move on and settle into our hotel, take a hot shower and relax.

Paperwork was filed today and now we wait for a court day. We are hopeful for next Wednesday, so prayers for that (or sooner!) are appreciated. After court we wait another 2-3 days for KY and MO to say we can head home.


To answer a few questions...

No, we cannot post pictures yet.
No, I'm not sure when we can. I think after court.
Josiah is with my parents at night and my grandparents during the day.  He will also hang out with my aunt some. He is doing great! He is not missing us at all! On one hand this is sad, but really it's good. He is happy and well cared for :) Thanks awesome family!
We cannot say exactly where we are.
Yes, it looks like we will make THE WEDDING!!!!!!


God is so good! We are so thankful for Timothy, his parents, our social workers, the nurses who cared for him (and us), our family and friends who have been so supportive. We are blessed beyond words for the love that surrounds us right now.
A few prayer requests...

A quick court process.
That we are approved to leave by Friday the 7th.
Weather to hold off over the weekend so my parents can come visit.
Safe travels going home.
For our birth parents as they grieve their loss and transition to a new normal.

4 more Mondays

4 more Mondays! When I was teaching I would always count Mondays because that made it seem like so much less time. 5 Mondays till break seems better than 5 weeks, right? Right. Well, to me anyway :) Well, now that's a little scary! In an email from our agency I read the words "We are 30 days from M's due date so it's time to start preparing." I, of course, have been counting down since January, but in weeks, not days, so this made my heart skip a beat. 30 days. That's 4 Mondays (not including today) As far as preparing though....Timothy's things have been ready to go for a while now. This past weekend I went shopping for a few more essentials (diapers, bottles, formula, pacifiers, etc...) so we are pretty set. My goal is to keep up with laundry so the moment we get "the call" we can throw our things together and roll. Of course, there is a list of our essential items already made so we can just read instead of trying to think in the rush. And while it seems so close already, I am also reminded that myself and other faithful family members are praying for a healthy 2 weeks early delivery so we can make it to my brother in laws wedding. If God answers yes....15 days!!! Wow! So excited to meet this little guy! I promised a breakdown of the process so here's what I know...

Feb 11 (tomorrow)- Agency fees due. $19,000 (this goes between 2 agencies for reasons I will not disclose here)

Next week: complete Kentucky foster care education in order to respect the spirit of adoption in KY. Keep raising legal fees.

Wait for the call that M is in labor. Keep raising legal fees.

Get the call!

Frantically pack our bags, drop Josiah with family, pull out in tears because I cannot even imagine being away from him for 2 weeks (Lord, helps this momma's heart), drive to hospital in KY and hope we make it before he is born.

Approx 3 days later: leave hospital WITH TIMOTHY and drive 3 hours to the county where court will take place.

Hang out in hotel.

Approx 5 days later: judge signs off on adoption paperwork, making things temporarily official.

Still hanging out in hotel

Agency sends paperwork to another office (ICPC) in KY and MO for each state to approve.

Still waiting.....

Get approval call (because I'm trusting for no hiccups) and LEAVE KENTUCKY!

This process from birth to heading home takes approx. 2 weeks so prayers for quick court dates would be greatly appreciated.

6 months after placement: Finalize adoption here in MO and begin the wait for baby #3.

The t shirts are in!!

Thank you, thank you to all who ordered shirts! They are finally in and look great! Thanks to Crossroads Designs for doing such a great job!

My plan now is to take shirts to Kansas City this weekend. I will be at Graceway at 9:00 in the Portico area. If you don't attend or can't make it to Graceway I will be at Andy's parents house on Monday. Message me on Facebook for the address if you don't gave it :) If you plan to come by the house please text me your name first so I can have your shirt ready to go. 417-830-6673 if neither of these options work, we can make other arrangements one on one. Just let me know!

Springfield people, I will be home all day Thursday next week. Message me for my address if you want to swing by and text your name before you come. 417-830-6673.

Vine students, I will have your shirts NEXT Sunday....the 9th at Sunday School. You should be there :)

I will make deliveries the following week on Monday and Tuesday to people who cannot make it to me.

Make checks payable to me :)

Also, our gofundme account is still up and running if anyone wants to donate that way. We are so close to our needed amount!

http://www.gofundme.com/Castro-Adoption

Meet the parents-Part 2

Whew! What a weekend! We woke early Saturday morning and began the 8 1/2 hour journey across multiple states toward Kentucky. It was a long drive, but uneventful, thank goodness! We were able to relax Saturday evening, check into our hotel, work out, have dinner, and get to sleep early. At this point I was just excited. I slept great Saturday night....unlike what I anticipated. Then I woke up. My stomach was in knots the entire morning. We were able to drive by the hospital where our son will be born, which was awesome. After that we drove to the restaurant where we met our social worker, V and M. My hands were shaking like crazy and my heart was beating so hard I swear I could hear it. We took a moment in the car to pray one last time for our meeting, then went in.

As soon as they arrived all those feelings of fear and anxiety washed away and I felt at peace, excited, and comfortable. Our conversation felt very familiar to me, which was odd considering I had never spoken with them before. We sat down to eat and immediately began talking. They shared with us all about their families, their reasons for choosing adoption, their desire for our son to know he is loved and thought of by them often, yet is a part of the Castro family. They told us about how he is progressing and growing and how they expect a healthy delivery. We discussed the hospital stay and they formally requested that he be placed in our care immediately. (Thank you for praying about that!) The hospital will even give us a room to stay in if they are not full! How awesome is that?! Conversation never lagged and they were very open and friendly. We discussed contact after birth which will include multiple conversations/texts/emails per week and a visit one or twice a year. They are very comfortable with their choice of adoption and with us as the family they chose. At this point it seems as though everything should go very smoothly in about 6 weeks when Timothy Adam makes his appearance :)

I will blog soon about the legal process and steps that will be taken when Timothy is born. Thank you all for your continued support and prayers! Also, we are much closer to the amount we need to complete this adoption! We are now working to raise the legal fees.

Meet the parents- Part 1

Eek!! This weekend Andy and I will FINALLY travel to Kentucky to meet our son's birth parents!  When we scheduled this meeting it seemed so far away. It felt like I had to wait an eternity to sit with them face to face. Now it's here. On Sunday at 11AM we will sit across a table from them and simply talk. Our social worker will be with us. Thank goodness! She will facilitate conversation and make sure we discuss everything we need to as well as provide support for all of us.

Can I just say that I am beyond excited for this! This past summer Andy and I started praying for two very specific things in regards to our adoption. The first, that the birth family would desire an open adoption. The second, that the birth father would be involved. And The Lord answered both of these prayers with a resounding yes! Yes, you will be matched with a family who desires an open adoption. Yes, your child's birth father will be involved and supportive of the adoption. How awesome is God?! The number of birth fathers involved in planning an adoption is very small so this is a rare and exciting situation!

We would greatly appreciate prayer for this weekend.
1) Safe travels-it's an 8 1/2 hour drive
2) Connection with the birth family
3) Clarity for questions we have
4) Clarity for questions they have
5) Peace as we move forward with the next steps in this journey.

And another request unrelated to the weekend: prayers for the remaining funds would be great!

Adoption brain

Time is this really strange thing to me right now. On one hand, I want these next 8 weeks to fly by. I want to meet my baby boy! Hold him, snuggle him, tell him how much I love him. On the other hand, there is SO much to do and I literally get this panicked feeling in the pit of my stomach when I think about it all. And then I get even more panicked when I realize how much needs to be done that I simply cannot do until the moment it needs to happen. I know I said my words for the year were trust and release and while I am trying very very hard to do those things I would by lying if I said I was succeeding. Failing would be more like it. I find comfort in this: "Do not worry about tomorrow" says my God. I must frequently remind myself of my favorite verse and verse I have truly come to live by the past few years.

Philippians 4:8.
Finally brethren, whatsoever things are true, honest, just, pure, lovely, good report. Think on these things.

It really does help to examine my life and the events in it with respect to the qualities of this verse. However, that does not mean that I have figured out how to keep my heart from racing or the sick feeling in my stomach to go away when I think on what's to come.

Lately I have begun to fear what's to come as much as anticipate it. Will I be able to provide enough (fill in the blank) for TWO children? Will Josiah reject me when I bring his brother home? Will I know how to handle him when he acts out as a result of feeling neglected? Am I doing what I can now to prepare his precious mind for what's to come? Can I really survive on little to no sleep? How is being away from my two year old for possibly 10 days going to affect him? Me?

And along with what's to come...in 2 weeks we will meet this precious boy's birth parents. What if they don't like us after we meet them? Will they change their minds? What do I say to them? How will this meeting go?

I am generally a pretty confident person. And I must say that as this adoption gets closer and closer I have found a whole new side of myself. A ridiculously vulnerable side of myself. If I being honest, I don't really like this side of myself. The other part of me wants to look in the mirror and say suck it up. You will be fine. God has prepared you for this. No one does it perfectly. You have a great support system. And the person in the mirror wants to say "I know, BUT...." All of these things are true. I know that I am ready. I know that The Lord will guide me through the next few months and give me all the grace I need. I know that He has blessed me with the most amazing support system. I know.

So basically, there is a constant dialogue happening in my head and it is beginning to exhaust me. I write this not to sound whiny or complain. I could not be more excited for this new little guy! My heart is so full and I frequently go into his room just to imagine his presence here and to pray for him. My arms ache for him, just like my arms ached to hold Josiah weeks before he got there. I tell you this to be honest. I tell you this so I can process on paper what is happening in my head! I tell you this so you can understand where I'm at and that if I forget to do something or stare at you blankly you can chalk it up to "adoption brain" and just shake me :)

My apologies for the randomness that is this blog. I know it is selfish, but I needed to get it down in words. Please know that I am truly thankful, I am blessed beyond measure, I am not depressed, I am just a little overwhelmed and it helps to write it all down :) Thank you all for reading my words and for the prayers I know you are praying.

New Year, New Word?

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and Happy Happy New Year! I have sat down to write this blog a number of times over the past week, but the words never seem to come to me. Today I figured I would just start writing and see what happens, so my apologies in advance if this is discombobulated :) There are a variety of things I want to discuss. So many thoughts in my head. At times it overwhelmes me as I try to sort through them all. Do you ever feel that way? I have more to do lists than I can count and multiple note pads for different areas of my life just to keep myself straight!

As this new year begins I have been doing lots of reflecting and a lot if looking ahead. Many people make resolutions, but that has never really been my "thing." Others choose a word to live by for the year. This is something I have been seriously pondering the past several days. There are two words that come to mind frequently: trust and release. Really these two words go together, because in order to fully TRUST The Lord with my worries, I must RELEASE control. Not cool. I like being in control. I don't like surprises. They stress me out. A plan relaxes me. Full disclosure is calming. Knowing all possible outcomes and how to get from point A to point B brings me more joy than I care to admit.

So when I began dissecting the ins and outs of our adoption I discovered my plan was not perfect. Surprise surprise, right?
I can't put in plan in place for who Josiah will be with on which days. TRUST, RELEASE. He will be well cared for.
I can't plan out who will take Josiah on what day to KC for the wedding. TRUST, RELEASE. He will get there.
I can't book a hotel because I have no idea when "M" (birth mom) will go into labor. TRUST, RELEASE. There will be a room somewhere.
I can't plan for meals because I don't know if we will be able to get a room with capabilities to cook or heat anything. TRUST, RELEASE. You won't starve.
Mostly, I have no idea where we will get the last $4,000 needed 5 weeks from now, as my original
plan has not come to fruition. TRUST, RELEASE. The Lord will provide.

This list doesn't include so many other minor details, or even touch on life after baby, but it hits the big ones.

While I believe I need to trust my Lord, the bible tells me to with all my heart. I also believe in prayerfully doing my part to make things happen that need to. So, we are going through storage and deciding what we can sell to make a bit more cash. (See link below) T shirt orders are placed so we will be passing those out as soon as they come in. THANK YOU to all who ordered. Message me on Facebook with your address if you live somewhere besides KC or Springfield so I can mail yours once they come in. We also have a donation account set up for anyone who may want to be involved with adoption, but unable to bring a child into your home right now. (Also, see below).

I have researched hotels so I have an idea what's available.

I have talked to family members who are more than willing to care for Josiah while we are away.

So my words, for the next few months at least, are TRUST (in The Lord my God) and RELEASE control (to allow God to work His perfect plan)

What is your word or resolution?

http://springfield.craigslist.org/for/4270895421.html 

http://www.gofundme.com/Castro-Adoption