I find that each year on this day I become more and more reflective and emotional. The Lord has blessed me with such amazing women to honor as mothers and I am unbelievably grateful for that blessing. So bear with me as I share my thoughts with you about these fantastic women.
For 3 years now I have also had the privilege of being a mother myself, and the weight of that is not lost on me. My children are such a source of joy every single day. Tiring? Yes. Trying? Yes. Frustrating? Yes. But oh the fun we have! The giggles. The hugs. The playfulness. The love. The innocence. The hope. The JOY! My heart could burst as I think of those sweet boys sleeping (or rather, playing at this moment) upstairs. I have the absolute best job in the entire world and wouldn't change it for anything! This day also causes me to evaluate how I am doing with this job. Am I training them to be kind, loving, compassionate boys who know how much Jesus loves them? Am I raising them to be men of God who will impact the world in an amazing way? I cannot forget the end goal. The day to day can get redundant, but it's the small moments in the day in and out that add up to creating men who will use their lives for The Lord.
I also have those moments thinking on my relationship with my own mother and how I hope to nurture that same relationship with my own children. Her wisdom, patience, kindness, attentiveness, compassion and love overflows and I pray I can emulate those qualities. I had the privilege of living in the same town as her for several years before moving away and could drive across town for a quick lunch hour and catch up or run errands on a random Saturday. I took for granted that proximity and have often felt an overwhelming sense of sadness over the past few months since moving away that I am unable to just make a quick drive across town for some face to face time with this amazing woman. Words cannot express how thankful I am that she and my dad were able to be with us for Mother's Day this year. Though the trip was short, there is nothing like a mom's hug and encouragement.
There is an amazing woman who lives just 3 minutes from my driveway. My mother-in-love is the best! Her giving, selfless spirit and genuine desire to know me, my heart and my family is overwhelming. I often hear people complain about their mom-in-law and am so very grateful for our relationship. Her unconditional love and willingness to always help out in whatever way she can is rare and refreshing and does not go unnoticed. In this transition to KC, she has gone out of her way to make me feel at home and ease the difficulties of transitioning into a "new" city. I am one blessed daughter-in-law.
I am also blessed to have a wonderful relationship with my grandmother, who I can call any time for any reason and she will stop and talk with me. I cherish the times we have together, though not as often any more. Living in town, I frequently stopped by their home to walk their neighborhood or for lunch and ended up talking for hours sometimes. She is one of the most selfless people I know, bending over backwards to help anyone in our family. She spends countless hours choosing the perfect card or the perfect gift to give. Her thoughtfulness, love and desire to provide for our family is astounding and worth aspiring to. I only hope that I can show that same love to the generations to come from my own little family.
Lastly, my thoughts drift often on this day to Timothy's birth mother. Her choosing adoption for him was difficult and heartbreaking. The pain she felt in placing him in my arms before leaving the hospital was very real. She cared for him for 9 months as he grew, felt his kicks and saw his first pictures on the ultrasound. I am forever grateful to her for loving him enough to place him with us.
I guess if I'm being honest, she isn't my last thought. There is another woman who has crossed my mind many times this weekend. She is birth mother of our future child (ren). Where is she? What must she be going through right now? Is she afraid? Does she have support? Does she know she is loved?
I am thankful for each of these women and the enormous impact they have on my life. So, Happy Mother's Day!
Sunday, May 10, 2015
Thursday, May 7, 2015
THE list
Deep breath. Release. Repeat. Here we go again!
We are officially back on "The List!" As of today our website is back up and we can be found by birthmother's (and father's) through Lifetime.com. Wooo! Our profile is under review and as soon as we get the word I will print 50...yes 50 of these works of art to send to our coordinator. They will then pass our profile along to birth families whose criteria we meet and vice verse. I've had a few people ask what a profile is exactly so I thought I'd explain that a little bit.
A profile is essentially a scrap book of our family. It includes pages about Andy and I individually, our home, our family, things we enjoy, a letter to potential birth mothers, lots and lots of pictures. The goal is to give birth mothers a glimpse into our lives and what life would be like for her child.
So as we move forward we will not know when we are being presented to birth families, we just have to be available for THAT moment when a birth mom wants to talk to us.
I learned a very valuable lesson with Timothy's adoption. Pray specifically. Oh my, how The Lord came through with those VERY specific requests. Things prayed, but didn't even really expect to see and yet, HE provided. So I am trusting, once again, that HIS timing and details are perfect while also praying for the desires I have currently.
1) A healthy baby and mom.
2) A match near KC. Whether that's through a friend or via our profile/website. OR a match near family or close friends where we could potentially stay with someone we know for all or part of our time waiting for ICPC to come through.
3) A girl. I would love to balance out this house a little bit! BUT if The Lord blesses us with a 3rd baby boy I will be thrilled!
4) A match before the end of 2015. This might seem ambitious, but this process is stressful. The end is the best because we get to snuggle a little one and bring a sibling to our boys and THAT is the part I am already SO ready for!
5) Birth father involvement or consent.
We are officially back on "The List!" As of today our website is back up and we can be found by birthmother's (and father's) through Lifetime.com. Wooo! Our profile is under review and as soon as we get the word I will print 50...yes 50 of these works of art to send to our coordinator. They will then pass our profile along to birth families whose criteria we meet and vice verse. I've had a few people ask what a profile is exactly so I thought I'd explain that a little bit.
A profile is essentially a scrap book of our family. It includes pages about Andy and I individually, our home, our family, things we enjoy, a letter to potential birth mothers, lots and lots of pictures. The goal is to give birth mothers a glimpse into our lives and what life would be like for her child.
So as we move forward we will not know when we are being presented to birth families, we just have to be available for THAT moment when a birth mom wants to talk to us.
I learned a very valuable lesson with Timothy's adoption. Pray specifically. Oh my, how The Lord came through with those VERY specific requests. Things prayed, but didn't even really expect to see and yet, HE provided. So I am trusting, once again, that HIS timing and details are perfect while also praying for the desires I have currently.
1) A healthy baby and mom.
2) A match near KC. Whether that's through a friend or via our profile/website. OR a match near family or close friends where we could potentially stay with someone we know for all or part of our time waiting for ICPC to come through.
3) A girl. I would love to balance out this house a little bit! BUT if The Lord blesses us with a 3rd baby boy I will be thrilled!
4) A match before the end of 2015. This might seem ambitious, but this process is stressful. The end is the best because we get to snuggle a little one and bring a sibling to our boys and THAT is the part I am already SO ready for!
5) Birth father involvement or consent.
Thursday, March 19, 2015
The countdown begins....again.
6 WEEKS! What?! I can hardly wrap my head around the fact that 6 weeks from now we will be seen by birth mothers (and hopefully fathers!) again! We are SO close to adding another little to the Castro clan! I'm feeling excited, nervous, joyful, hopeful and terrified. Between now and then I've got a pretty decent "to do" list to complete, but I'm focused and ready to get it done! The main two items are creating and assembling a new profile and make a new video for our website. The place we are working with currently operates a little different than an agency. I'm a little nervous about how things will look once we are matched, but open adoption is so encouraged through this place that I'm hopeful for a smooth process! We learned a lot going through the court experience with Timothy that we are a bit more prepared this time around. Whew!
To be honest, I'm very hopeful that we can be "matched" with someone locally through a friend who can utilize the birth mother services of Lifetime. Lifetime is so sensitive to birth mothers, offering a wonderful care package, 24-7 availability to talk, scholarship opportunities if she wants to continue her education, etc. every birth mother is different in her wants, needs, focus, support and reasons for choosing adoption. Whatever the reason, she chose life for her baby and I love the support available to her.
So, as we dive into growing our family again, I ask that you join us in prayer. For our baby (or babies-twins is an option!), for our birth parents, for birth father involvement in a positive way, for a birth location nearby us or someone we can stay with to limit travel expenses. If we are out of state we have to stay for approx 2 weeks (17 days with Timothy) so this would be very helpful.
*Many of you joined us in praying VERY specifically for Timothy and the circumstances surrounding his adoption and The Lord revealed himself to me in a huge way during that time, showing me how much He truly cares for the details. I am trusting Him again with the details as they are very much beyond my control!*
If you want to be a part of our adoption in a more tangible way we are offering a new T shirt design and have a goal of selling 50. Email me at cmarie9301@yahoo.com for pictures or check it out on my Facebook page. We will also be hosting another garage sale late spring so keep an eye out so you can check out our goodies or if we can take anything off your hands as you Spring clean! (It will be a few more weeks before we collect for this) We are also still accepting donations through gofundme at http://www.gofundme.com/Castro-Adoption
Thank you all for your love, support, encouraging words and prayers as we enter thus journey once again!
To be honest, I'm very hopeful that we can be "matched" with someone locally through a friend who can utilize the birth mother services of Lifetime. Lifetime is so sensitive to birth mothers, offering a wonderful care package, 24-7 availability to talk, scholarship opportunities if she wants to continue her education, etc. every birth mother is different in her wants, needs, focus, support and reasons for choosing adoption. Whatever the reason, she chose life for her baby and I love the support available to her.
So, as we dive into growing our family again, I ask that you join us in prayer. For our baby (or babies-twins is an option!), for our birth parents, for birth father involvement in a positive way, for a birth location nearby us or someone we can stay with to limit travel expenses. If we are out of state we have to stay for approx 2 weeks (17 days with Timothy) so this would be very helpful.
*Many of you joined us in praying VERY specifically for Timothy and the circumstances surrounding his adoption and The Lord revealed himself to me in a huge way during that time, showing me how much He truly cares for the details. I am trusting Him again with the details as they are very much beyond my control!*
If you want to be a part of our adoption in a more tangible way we are offering a new T shirt design and have a goal of selling 50. Email me at cmarie9301@yahoo.com for pictures or check it out on my Facebook page. We will also be hosting another garage sale late spring so keep an eye out so you can check out our goodies or if we can take anything off your hands as you Spring clean! (It will be a few more weeks before we collect for this) We are also still accepting donations through gofundme at http://www.gofundme.com/Castro-Adoption
Thank you all for your love, support, encouraging words and prayers as we enter thus journey once again!
Thursday, March 5, 2015
A new endeavor
This post may seem a bit off topic from adoption, but I promise it ties together :)
Over this past year I have learned a lot about myself. How I manage stress, how to identify my emotions, to actually allow myself to feel. For a long time now I have managed to stifle my emotions under the umbrella of being sober minded. In my attempt to always take a step back and evaluate a situation I didn't ever truly address what I was feeling. Instead I ate chocolate :) Who can relate?! I've learned that this is probably not the best way to deal, right? I need to allow myself to feel, work through those feelings, AND measure the situation with biblical mindset. Being sober minded doesn't mean just sweeping my emotion under the rug, as I have been operating. As I stated earlier however, I didn't really sweep them, I ate them. It was a stressful year from day 1 with lots of changes and lots of chocolate.
My goals for this year included balance and consistency. Balance in life, consistency in time spent on my relationship with The Lord, balance between being a wife, mom, friend, daughter, grand daughter. Part of that balance also includes actively contributing financially to my family. Which brings me to the next part of my goal: balance and consistency with making healthy food choices and exercise. While these things are a work in progress, I have made great strides in many areas. However, getting healthy has been one of my greatest challenges. This verse has been stuck in my mind a lot over the past few weeks:
"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit..."
I need to be taking good care of this body I have been given.
My tendency is to eat well throughout the week then completely binge on the weekends and undo all my efforts. Recently I made the decision to become a coach with Beachbody. Originally I joined this team as a form of accountability. A support group of sorts. What I have discovered, however, is that my being a coach goes far beyond this original goal and can actually help accomplish the balance and consistency I'm working toward in 2015. With a focus of helping others achieve theirs goals of getting healthy and fit, while walking that journey myself requires time, which requires balance and focus as well as my own consistency. I get to financially contribute to my family, while focusing on my own health and fitness goals as well as walk alongside others (maybe you?!) as they work toward a better/healthier life. I'm super excited about this endeavor! How I can help myself, others, AND contribute to our adoption fund by growing this business. If you use Beachbody programs/products but do not have a coach, I would LOVE to join your journey with you. If you have considered the craziness of PIYO, T25, Insanity or P90X but haven't made the jump or want to try out the super yummy and crazy healthy Shakeology (I drink it every day!) hit me up! Together we can figure out what works best for you!
I strongly believe my "job" is to be home with my boys, but I need to have a "job" that makes a little money for our adoption. This is the best of both worlds for me!
Over this past year I have learned a lot about myself. How I manage stress, how to identify my emotions, to actually allow myself to feel. For a long time now I have managed to stifle my emotions under the umbrella of being sober minded. In my attempt to always take a step back and evaluate a situation I didn't ever truly address what I was feeling. Instead I ate chocolate :) Who can relate?! I've learned that this is probably not the best way to deal, right? I need to allow myself to feel, work through those feelings, AND measure the situation with biblical mindset. Being sober minded doesn't mean just sweeping my emotion under the rug, as I have been operating. As I stated earlier however, I didn't really sweep them, I ate them. It was a stressful year from day 1 with lots of changes and lots of chocolate.
My goals for this year included balance and consistency. Balance in life, consistency in time spent on my relationship with The Lord, balance between being a wife, mom, friend, daughter, grand daughter. Part of that balance also includes actively contributing financially to my family. Which brings me to the next part of my goal: balance and consistency with making healthy food choices and exercise. While these things are a work in progress, I have made great strides in many areas. However, getting healthy has been one of my greatest challenges. This verse has been stuck in my mind a lot over the past few weeks:
"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit..."
I need to be taking good care of this body I have been given.
My tendency is to eat well throughout the week then completely binge on the weekends and undo all my efforts. Recently I made the decision to become a coach with Beachbody. Originally I joined this team as a form of accountability. A support group of sorts. What I have discovered, however, is that my being a coach goes far beyond this original goal and can actually help accomplish the balance and consistency I'm working toward in 2015. With a focus of helping others achieve theirs goals of getting healthy and fit, while walking that journey myself requires time, which requires balance and focus as well as my own consistency. I get to financially contribute to my family, while focusing on my own health and fitness goals as well as walk alongside others (maybe you?!) as they work toward a better/healthier life. I'm super excited about this endeavor! How I can help myself, others, AND contribute to our adoption fund by growing this business. If you use Beachbody programs/products but do not have a coach, I would LOVE to join your journey with you. If you have considered the craziness of PIYO, T25, Insanity or P90X but haven't made the jump or want to try out the super yummy and crazy healthy Shakeology (I drink it every day!) hit me up! Together we can figure out what works best for you!
I strongly believe my "job" is to be home with my boys, but I need to have a "job" that makes a little money for our adoption. This is the best of both worlds for me!
Wednesday, March 4, 2015
What a year!
Wow. Has it really been a year already?! It just doesn't even seem possible and what a year it's been! On February 21, 2014 my phone rang and everything changed. Timothy was on his way and I went into crazy mode packing, making phone calls, praying, and trying to calm my heart. After a few days in the hospital, 2 weeks in a hotel, a visit from my parents, a visit from my grandparents, and reuniting with Josiah we finally got to head home. 3 days later we loaded up again as a family of 4 for a family wedding where we hot to introduce Timothy to everyone!! He was quite a trooper. Fantastic traveler and great infant sleeper. Over the course of the following 12 months our family made some HUGE changes. We had 2 post placement visits with our agency. Andy made the decision to go into full time minstry. A few months later this came to fruition with the offer of a pastor position at his home church, Graceway, in Kansas City. So we put our house on the market, accepted an offer soon after, packed up and moved to Kansas City. We temporarily stayed with both of our parents during this time as we went back and forth finalizing the sale of our home, moved into our new house, started a small group, started a leadership group (both of which meet in our home), and tried to settle in to our new normal. Not quite 3 weeks after we moved in we needed to update our homestudy and have another post placement check in, which included a visit from our social worker, more money, and making sure our house was ready/safe. We also did an interview with a local news station focusing on adoption and the cost involved. They were so kind to talk with us and share our story. Then we entered the holiday season: Thanksgiving, Christmas tree decorating, visiting Santa, tamale making...busy time! On top of the normal busyness, In December Andy took on some new responsibilities at work, making things pretty crazy for a while. After the first of the year we began gearing up for Timothy's final court date. This meant a 4th post placement visit in Springfield, more checks to the attorney, and of course, new outfits! :)
FINALLY......on February 27 when Timothy was 1 year 5 days old a judge declared his adoption final and we were OFFICIALLY his parents!!!! Oh the joy! I wish I could explain this day. That morning I literally couldn't eat I was so nervous. On the way to the courthouse my heart was beating out of my
chest. I felt like I was in labor again, reminding myself to breathe! Even though I knew Timothy was ours and everything was in place, I couldn't help but be nervous. What if we had missed a step? What if the judge wanted to see more? What if the guardian ad litem didn't approve of us? There was always this looming weight. Such a heavy weight, that I can only describe as stifling. I don't think I even realized it was there until everything was declared official. What if I had unintentionally said or done something wrong? Could my baby boy still be taken from me? Oh, how my heart and mind raced. I think I cried tears of joy and relief 3 times before we got home that day. Even writing this, my heart is racing and tears fill my eyes.
This journey of adoption is lifelong. We have an ongoing relationship with Timothy's birth parents that has been interesting to navigate this past year, and will continue to streach and grow us the rest of our lives. This experience of open adoption has taught me grace and love beyond what I knew possible.
While it is such a freeing feeling and a wonderful to have this chapter of the story closed, we are now beginning the next chapter of the next adoption book! It's time to take a deep breath and dive in again. It's time to make a new profile, a new video, and begin fervently praying for baby #3!
If you would like to be a part of our next adoption please use the link below. Thankfully we have been able to fund the majority of this adoption already and now just need about $7,000 for legal fees and potential travel. We covet your prayers as God writes the book of our third baby. For her (I just have a feeling!), for her birth mother and father, for our boys, for our family, for our marriage, for our ministry. The emotions of adoption are deep, intense, constant and worth it.
http://www.gofundme.com/Castro-Adoption
Next blog: my new adventure to getting healthy for my family and helping others do the same!
FINALLY......on February 27 when Timothy was 1 year 5 days old a judge declared his adoption final and we were OFFICIALLY his parents!!!! Oh the joy! I wish I could explain this day. That morning I literally couldn't eat I was so nervous. On the way to the courthouse my heart was beating out of my
chest. I felt like I was in labor again, reminding myself to breathe! Even though I knew Timothy was ours and everything was in place, I couldn't help but be nervous. What if we had missed a step? What if the judge wanted to see more? What if the guardian ad litem didn't approve of us? There was always this looming weight. Such a heavy weight, that I can only describe as stifling. I don't think I even realized it was there until everything was declared official. What if I had unintentionally said or done something wrong? Could my baby boy still be taken from me? Oh, how my heart and mind raced. I think I cried tears of joy and relief 3 times before we got home that day. Even writing this, my heart is racing and tears fill my eyes.
This journey of adoption is lifelong. We have an ongoing relationship with Timothy's birth parents that has been interesting to navigate this past year, and will continue to streach and grow us the rest of our lives. This experience of open adoption has taught me grace and love beyond what I knew possible.
While it is such a freeing feeling and a wonderful to have this chapter of the story closed, we are now beginning the next chapter of the next adoption book! It's time to take a deep breath and dive in again. It's time to make a new profile, a new video, and begin fervently praying for baby #3!
If you would like to be a part of our next adoption please use the link below. Thankfully we have been able to fund the majority of this adoption already and now just need about $7,000 for legal fees and potential travel. We covet your prayers as God writes the book of our third baby. For her (I just have a feeling!), for her birth mother and father, for our boys, for our family, for our marriage, for our ministry. The emotions of adoption are deep, intense, constant and worth it.
http://www.gofundme.com/Castro-Adoption
Next blog: my new adventure to getting healthy for my family and helping others do the same!
Sunday, October 12, 2014
Big Changes
It has, once again, been WAY too long since I gave update and there have been MANY changes in the Castro family over the past few months.
In late Spring my hubby came to me and told me he had made a decision. This decision would affect our family significantly. I was a little nervous, but as I listened to him tell me that he felt he needed to be in full time, vocational ministry all I could think was "Glad you figured it out!" :) I had total peace about this choice and was excited to see where this decision would take us. At this time there was some discussion about joining staff somewhere locally. While I loved this idea, in my heart I just knew Springfield wasn't where we would end up. I did begin to wonder where we would go though. Would we have to start over somewhere new? Would we have to start from square one on adoption paperwork again? I am pretty introverted, how will I make new friends? What will I do without family nearby? I had to resolve that I would pick up and follow my husband wherever The Lord called us. A few weeks later Andy had coffee with a pastor of his home church in Kansas City, as he occasionally did when we would visit. This meeting led to more meetings and discussions, which eventually lead to his being offered a job to join the pastoral staff at Graceway Church. His heart is not mine to share, but it will say there was such peace in this offer that we couldn't say no.
So, while we did relocate (or rather, are relocating currently), it's not THAT far from Springfield. We have lots of family in KC. And while I still feel "new," I have lived there before and people are being so kind and welcoming. Our house in Springfield sold quickly and assuming this week goes well (pray for no rain!) we close Friday. We also had an amazing realtor who found us a great house in KC. My other fear of financial struggle has also been put to rest as I learn to trust in God's provision. While there's a pretty decent gap between the salary of a pastor and that of an engineer, He has not failed to provide. Funding the legal and travel fees for our second adoption may be tricky, but not impossible and I am learning how to be an even better steward of what The Lord has given us.
Ministry is not foreign to me as many of my family members are pastors, or were at one point, but this is a new role for me and my immediate family. I was asked the other day what scares me the most about Andy being a pastor. In an effort to share more of my heart, I want to share my answer with all of you. We have all heard stories of "pastors kids" being crazy and rebellious. I think every parent fears that to an extent, but my fear is mostly that my children will feel pressure to perform in their role as a "pastor's kid" and that the unrealistic expectations of others will overwhelm them. I pray they grow into a genuine relationship with The Lord and I pray that people give them grace as they
navigate growing up with more than a few eyes on them at times.
Pray for me this week as I pack up our house here in Springfield. There is a certain finality that comes with packing up all our material things and leaving our home here and that stirs some emotions in me I didn't realize were there.
Next update: Timothy's finalization, birth family, and next adoption steps.
In late Spring my hubby came to me and told me he had made a decision. This decision would affect our family significantly. I was a little nervous, but as I listened to him tell me that he felt he needed to be in full time, vocational ministry all I could think was "Glad you figured it out!" :) I had total peace about this choice and was excited to see where this decision would take us. At this time there was some discussion about joining staff somewhere locally. While I loved this idea, in my heart I just knew Springfield wasn't where we would end up. I did begin to wonder where we would go though. Would we have to start over somewhere new? Would we have to start from square one on adoption paperwork again? I am pretty introverted, how will I make new friends? What will I do without family nearby? I had to resolve that I would pick up and follow my husband wherever The Lord called us. A few weeks later Andy had coffee with a pastor of his home church in Kansas City, as he occasionally did when we would visit. This meeting led to more meetings and discussions, which eventually lead to his being offered a job to join the pastoral staff at Graceway Church. His heart is not mine to share, but it will say there was such peace in this offer that we couldn't say no.
So, while we did relocate (or rather, are relocating currently), it's not THAT far from Springfield. We have lots of family in KC. And while I still feel "new," I have lived there before and people are being so kind and welcoming. Our house in Springfield sold quickly and assuming this week goes well (pray for no rain!) we close Friday. We also had an amazing realtor who found us a great house in KC. My other fear of financial struggle has also been put to rest as I learn to trust in God's provision. While there's a pretty decent gap between the salary of a pastor and that of an engineer, He has not failed to provide. Funding the legal and travel fees for our second adoption may be tricky, but not impossible and I am learning how to be an even better steward of what The Lord has given us.
Ministry is not foreign to me as many of my family members are pastors, or were at one point, but this is a new role for me and my immediate family. I was asked the other day what scares me the most about Andy being a pastor. In an effort to share more of my heart, I want to share my answer with all of you. We have all heard stories of "pastors kids" being crazy and rebellious. I think every parent fears that to an extent, but my fear is mostly that my children will feel pressure to perform in their role as a "pastor's kid" and that the unrealistic expectations of others will overwhelm them. I pray they grow into a genuine relationship with The Lord and I pray that people give them grace as they
navigate growing up with more than a few eyes on them at times.
Pray for me this week as I pack up our house here in Springfield. There is a certain finality that comes with packing up all our material things and leaving our home here and that stirs some emotions in me I didn't realize were there.
Next update: Timothy's finalization, birth family, and next adoption steps.
Thursday, July 31, 2014
MO Court-one
Today we went to court in Missouri with Timothy. This was to officially transfer custody from our agency to us. Going into today, it was just another step in the process. I knew it would be pretty quick and honestly didn't feel any anxiety or even excitement. This is not the finalization. We have to go to court one more time, 6 months from now to complete the final step. However, as I sat in the court room, sworn under oath, and promised to take care of Timothy my heart was so full. Full of hope and love for this sweet baby boy I was holding. Excitement that we are SO CLOSE to becoming more than just legal custodians but legal PARENTS to him. My eyes filled at one moment as the judge looked at us and pleaded with us to care for our boy. The enormity of parenting hit me once again in that moment. I think as a parent you always feel the weight of that responsibility, but there are moments when it feels so intense it almost takes your breath away. Today was one of those days. Sitting in court was one if those moments. We are responsible for this precious baby boy. His health, his emotional well being, his spiritual growth, for shaping the way he looks at this world, for instilling in him a desire to seek after The Lord and to look beyond himself, to make a difference in the lives of those around him. Wow. That I have been trusted with this responsibility is humbling, exciting and terrifying! I pray that as Andy and I raise our children we are alert and focused, able to do what is necessary to fulfill this incredible responsibility.
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